woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
