You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
