I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
