I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
you have to choose: penises or morals?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
