All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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