My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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