Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
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You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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