Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
