bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
