So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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