I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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