This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
