He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
