Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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