You really coming over, don't trick.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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