3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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