piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I would ride that face into the sunset
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Randomize
