I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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