I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
we're so committed to being not committed
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
