this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
