never play flip cup with pint glasses
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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