I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
