Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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