So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
