Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
