She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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