Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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