Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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