I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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