How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
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