My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Randomize
