My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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