How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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