I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
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