All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
