Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
