thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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