I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize