this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
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Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
you had me at cake vodka
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
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I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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