"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
