His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
