yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize