Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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