Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
