Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
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