He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
