She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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