Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Randomize
