Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
