i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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