There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
