His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
