come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
