Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
