I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
