I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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