yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
