Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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