After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Even my vagina gasped.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
