I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize