her facebook's as public as her vagina
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
