My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Even my vagina gasped.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
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