I feel like abortions should bother me more
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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